Passive Fairytale
She was born.
Left home to find herself
And in the process
Found him.
He showered her with love
Passion
Compassion
Money
Energy
Dreams
Schemes
Later…
Words
Pain
Thwarted ambitions.
No gain.
Shame fell her way.
Fell her away.
Drained her sap.
Pushed her back
And down and down,
All but drown,
In frozen lake
Of sneering snake.
Hiding
Biding
No more time
And blind chime.
Hmmm, methinks on occasion madam does protest too much… good words although I wonder about the metre you’ve chosen. Unless I’m being a complete muppet you’re expressing heavy earthiness with much HOME DOWN and FALL, BIDING. HIDING and the metre is very light and incidental. The only way a poem can beat to the breath of a song is through metre. If every beat is up, it will disappear . . .
RR
Thank you for your comment. You have no idea how helpful it is to hear something more than just a ‘like’! Well, the metre dissonance is deliberate, the contrast between fairytale expectations and the dreariness of everyday life. And yes, I was getting a bit worried too about always having the same (fictional) subject matter (which is why I have not posted many of my other poems that are even more virulent). It’s the initial breaking free phase, I think (plus I wasn’t expecting anyone to read my posts!) You will have noticed I have been trying to diversity a bit lately, with some stories and writing about other authors.
Hello dear, thank you so much for your visit back in my blog and have left me a message… I highly appreciate this. I enjoy reading your Haiku poems and I look forward for you to join me in “For the Love of Haiku” on the 17th of March. We will be having this every 3rd Saturday of the month.. . see you around dear and talk to you soon…Have a great day!