findingtimetowrite

Thinking, writing, thinking about writing…

Last Judgement

She sits in judgement like mayonnaise setting.

 

‘Mog!’ she utters with eyes of reckoning

slant with questions

dull with doubt

 

We held together

clung close and tearful

but the worlds we built

were arid

mouthfuls of discontent

 

Hereafter let dreamscapes guide you to perfection.

Let panoramas pulsate with fury

at the perils of being

One.

 

After all, the world ends not with a bang but a whimper… and so do many relationships.

I’m linking this to that wonderfully supportive group dVerse Poets Pub, which has become a much-loved second home for me on the web. The prompt was to write a poem in precisely 55 words. I only had to add the first line and this poem became just the right thing.

 

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29 thoughts on “Last Judgement

  1. Marina Sofia – Oh, this is really quite powerful. Even more so because you’ve expressed it in so economically.

  2. oy, yes they do…well passed their prime…and for many it is not a real surprise when it finally happens…that middle section on the worlds built of discontent def conveys what it needs…

  3. Endearing to each other can be wonderful or stormy. But that is the outcome of being one. It goes both ways! Truly said Marina!

    Hank

  4. “at the perils of being one”- that says it all. Thoughtful and well-penned. :-)

  5. Questions, doubt, arid words, discontent…it is unfortunate that so many of our relationships come this in the end.

  6. Glenn Buttkus on said:

    Have a good friend, and after 45 years of marriage, is divorcing and reclaiming the dreamscape; what she calls “the power of one”. Been married three times, & in each case stayed single for 7 years; present marriage (20+ years) benefits from past personal mistakes; terrific use of the 55; thanks.

  7. oh heck… it’s painful but often no surprise when it happens… the perils of being one…ugh.. sometimes it’s good to let go to be able to breathe again..

  8. Such rich imagery.. Love the mayanaise metaphor

  9. I guess that when ‘the worlds we built’ are ‘arid’, it is time to turn the page, however painful that might be.

  10. aprille on said:

    true, anti-climaxes predominate.
    Generous helping of allit throughout.

  11. The brevity of words is just the way to distil meaning. Well done.

  12. I found that first line so evocative and brilliant I took a break before reading the rest. I like it.

  13. I needed a second reading to filter all the meaning from this. The 55 focussed the intensity of the emotion exceedingly well here. Well done.

  14. Arid lands with the only hope of dark, enticing storms coming after the break.

    • Sorry I only saw this comment now – spam filter caught hold of it. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Sometimes the storms can be enticing, you are right, although in this particular case…

  15. And what an opening line..a bit like ‘I write this sitting in the kitchen sink’..which I believe one of the prompt sites encouraged us to use a short while ago..magical write..

  16. ‘the perils of being one’ has a certain chill about it Marina, well done, liked this one.

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