findingtimetowrite

Thinking, writing, thinking about writing…

Emotion in Poetry: Misaligned

Mandarin.duck.arpYour ducks poised for flight         forever

askew, misaligned,

I linger to add my knowledge

whether you want it or miss

the days of silent entertainment.  Mirth

drops like bounty from that dog-eared sky

where geese meet your ducks, summer meets winter.

And I, alone, my ducks in a row…

One just off,

so easy to shoot at

just mock.

just mock.

Claudia has us playing with our emotions over at dVerse Poets Pub: don’t show, don’t tell, just hint. I’ve been trying to remember all the delicate allusive texts of Japanese literature. Mandarin ducks are regarded as the ideal couple in Japanese poetic and theatrical tradition. Tachibana Akemi, one of the greatest poets of the late Edo period, summed it up beautifully below, but it all changes when geese come into the picture. Or more ducks.

My sweetheart and I,
Sleepy face side by side,
Look out at the pond
Covered with snow and watch
The mandarin ducks floating.

 

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14 thoughts on “Emotion in Poetry: Misaligned

  1. Marina Sofia – Sometimes the hint of something – the allusion to it – can be more powerful than saying it directly. This is a wonderful example of that.

  2. This is just wonderful… the imagery you used to express the emotion is so vivid and powerful. I could really feel it.

  3. dang…the mock/mock…so easy to shoot the ducks in a row….nice imagery and you use it effectively to convey feeling….

    marina, i appreciate you much….as i was catching up last night i saw you had already visited many…thats great…thanks for being there….

    • But of course… just because I can’t think of a poem for a prompt doesn’t mean that I can’t read what other, more creative people have come up with!

  4. Lovely, such imagery in this it was incredible :)

  5. That ending was just unexpected ~ So well done Marina ~

  6. Just mock, just mock.. Oh my.. such a beautiful, incredible ending! I loved it, one of my favorites I think! :-)

  7. oh i like the dog-eared sky.. and dang yes.. so easy to shoot… love the image you leave us with… such floating lightness… such tender intimacy..

  8. Glenn Buttkus on said:

    A light-hearted thrust into the plexus of emotion. Love your attitude about supporting & participating the dVerse community. Your enthusiasm is def infectious. Liked you lines /Mirth/fell like bounty/from that dog-eared sky/.

  9. The way you leave out.. use of idioms and even humor.. this has to be one of your best. So much emotion capture in the minimum number of words.. very zen.

  10. Love ducks. Love their love. Very touching piece.

  11. This is wonderful! Great ending…

  12. I agree with the others the ending took a twist..

  13. Love ducks and geese. I always called my “adopted” skaters “my little ducks”. At the Broadmoor there was a lake in front of the rink filled with ducks and swans and geese. No hunters thank heaven. Your piece brought those images back to me.

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