In the country where my tongue
should feel limber,
my mind goes slurry.
I hear the gasps between words,
feel the teeth in the smiles.
In the land of sensuous beauty,
I spy abandon, breathe in decay.
I opt for potholes while above
a sky of such wonder
casts up its blue tablecloth of hospitality,
flecked with golden smudges.
A generous hostess.
I groan in over-fed wantonness.
In the soft arms of my mother land
I detect only flab.
Since when did cynicism poison my well and render
my cattle so sick?
How did love grow so shallow that mere breezes
can topple the ship of my faith?
I don’t believe they care much about my grimace,
or ruefully take in my artful sneers.
They live each day anew, alight
in flames I can no longer name.
I shiver unburnt.
And in the thirst
for life of my people I am humbled
out of the girth of my own navel.
Marina Sofia – I think being away really does give one a different view of one’s own country. On the one hand, one is part of the language and culture. On the other, one’s a stranger in an odd way. You capture that very effectively here.
Agree with Margot.
When I see how hard life is for most people in my home country, I feel very humbled. And yet…
Your imagery is beautiful, and it captures the feelings of familiarity and strangeness perfectly.
I ache for it when I am not there, then suffer when I go there. But perhaps we always suffer with the people or places we love most.
Very true!
oh wow…both…the pain and longing can be felt in each and every line..
Thank you, Claudia. It is a love-hate relationship which I am sure you understand, with your cross-border lifestyle.
dang felt poem…the pain and frustration…it is hard, esp if you go away for a bit and come back hoping things have not changed but they have….being away i think allows us to see w fresh eyes….
You want it to change… and yet don’t want it to change… and wonder if it is you that has changed…
Very emotional write. Felt it throughout.
You feel like an ungrateful traitor… and yet…
Thank you for coming over for a visit. Loved discovering your poetry too!
Marina Sofia – how true these sentiments are. After many years of being away from my home country, I was able to go visit. I should feel completely at home and I was, but still, there were things that were new and unknown to me and things – not new, that made me uncomfortable.
I just went back for Christmas to my home country. These visits always leave me reeling and it can take quite a while to recover.
Hard hitting and full of feeling, a really great write.
Thank you – really appreciate your visit and taking the time to comment. It’s such an ambiguous feeling, not sure I’ve quite captured it.