Today at dVerse Poets Form for All, Charles wants us to go all Dadaist and use Tristan Tzara’s cut-up lines and random words pulled out of a hat so as to capture that elusive flash of inspiration. I turned to a poem I had recently been struggling to write and mashing it up (appropriately enough) helped break down my mental barriers. And I’ve never used spaces much before, so this was additional experimentation. This was fun!
How long before it leaves me
was it fevered shock
what if it never strikes again
???
It came as a gurgle – and turned into hiss
Rattled
shook thunder
protest
groan-heaved
And when it finally shuddered out loose
it swept all before it ignored the well-worn
Ah, paths
Ah, old groove!
From near to afar that glisten of new
no mistakes yet to clutter
Cleanse all ye moods
longings adrift
upwind endless to explore
upwind endless to explore
It’s truncated but if read fast it glides smoothly! It provides elements of expectations at the end of day. Nicely Marina!
Hank
Thank you! I wasn’t sure if the truncation was going to come across as too artificial, but I’m glad you manage to detect some flow to it.
Very nice and smooth read.. And I agree this is a method to be used in times of writers block
Frees up the brain a little, doesn’t it? Thank you for your visit and comment!
Marina Sofia – Oh, how every creative! This truly does convey what it feels like to have that flash of inspiration too. Well done
Thank you, Margot. Added bonus: Tristan Tzara was a fellow Romanian – must be something in the water…
it comes across very uplifting in the end…i like all the sound words throughout…the groan rattle….nice choice in subject…pretty cool to do it to one of your own poems giving it new life….off to cleanse….smiles…
Oh, good, I did mean it to be uplifting too (despite the panic). And yes, sounds are very important to me.
Groan-heaved is such a great word! It is wonderful when lightning lets loose a writer’s block – you give a great sense of the longing and relief. k.
Thank you for noticing the ‘groan-heave’ – I love portmanteau words and Lewis Carroll.
Incredible work–what if it never strikes again??? Every writer’s fear, I think. And that feeling, when it shudders loose and cuts a new path–lovely, inspiring image!
You’ve got it in one: panic and relief, co-existing, feeding off each other! Thank you for your kind words.
good one — i like the sounds, the build up of tension and the release, an epiphany
Thanks so much, Ray. I’m very auditive in my poetry – which is why I struggle sometimes with the graphic presentation of it. That’s why I admire those who can do both!
some poets are imagistic, others more auditory. words that crackle, words that murmur and shush, it’s lovely to use sounds in an expressive way. cheers, marinasofia
Loved it, the fear of ‘the block’ well described via dada and then released…dada will definitely remove, ‘The Block”
At some point I was working with a friend on writing a screenplay about the Dadaists in Zurich, and everything I read about them (or by them) made perfect sense, contrary to popular belief. Thank you for visiting, Rhonda.
ha – this grooves and i think it’s a fantastic exercise to let go and get a bit surprised oneself how and what develops…nice..
That’s exactly what happened – a pleasant surprise all round… Thank you, Claudia!
I think this was a successful use of the dada method. The content comes across very forcefully, your spacing adding various dramatic elements to it. As you see it, would this be something you’d be interested in publishing? I ask because I wonder how you thought the result was?
Gosh, no, I don’t think it would be publishing material – I still like the control thing too much. It’s that old conundrum, isn’t it: how much do you trust inspiration pure, and how much does it need additional work?
It is as if the form really did provide a Eureka! moment – great stuff : )
I need to experiment more, I think. Thank you and the other poets at dVerse for pushing me to do these sort of things!
To me this seems a poem about discovery- not only in approaching it in a new way but in the wording, especially
Ah, paths
Ah, old groove!
Great Dadaist poetry here. -Mike
Absolutely, it was a great discovery… also about how sometimes it’s nice to let go a little of control in formulating and condensing thoughts into words. Thank you, Mike!
What you’ve done has resulted in a wonderful poem.
Great stuff! I read it (ignoring the spaces) and it flows beautifully.
Anna :o]
Great approach, I love how you took your own work and deconstructed it a bit. Wonderful.
This is wonderful. I loved the way you presented this poem! You really rocked the dada form.