Secret

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A bottle of grains flung in the sand

harvest moon pregnant with damp

a world of murmurs subsiding to buzz

autographs given with minimum fuss

I wonder where all unspeakable is kept

in what tangle of lies it is wrapped

I wonder when we shall be whole

when the ravenous beast is full.

This is an experiment with near-rhymes or slant-rhymes, which are words that almost rhyme but not quite.  As a very auditory person (I used to record lessons in high school, so that I could learn them better), I love playing around with rhymes and rhythms. I usually do far too little of that in my poetry.

This is the 100th poem that I’m posting to this blog – my hundredth poem since I started writing again in February 2012.  It may not feel like much, an average of 5 a month, but it is such an improvement to my previous (zero) output! I can also report a change in attitude towards poetry. I used to think of it as a form of procrastination (to avoid having to deal with my novel). But I have now come to love it in its own right, to actually work at it and try out new things.  In no small part, thanks to such a fantastic group as the dVerse Poets, so I’m dedicating my 100th poem to them.

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70 thoughts on “Secret”

  1. Very nice form and slant rhymes. And congratulations on your 100th poem since resuming writing. I too sometimes wonder where the unspeakable is kept. Smiles.

  2. cool…i think it’s great to work with near and slant rhymes – it gives the poem drive – i often read my poems aloud to hear how they sound and as a non-native in english i let my macbook read my poems to me as well to make sure they’re pronounced correctly.. and that macbook reader voice is the most unemotional voice i have ever heard…makes me laugh out loud sometimes..smiles

  3. It’s brilliant, Marina, and I’ve noticed a change on your poems this past year. I may not always comment, but I read and enjoy them, and I think your dedication to the form is wonderful. Jo x

  4. I’m having commenting problems and this is my third attempt (sorry if the two others turn up as well at some point). I like the subtlety of the slant rhymes, which work so very well here. Congrats on the century 🎉

  5. Enjoyed this a lot. Reminded me of how Bob Dylan wrote a series of what he thought would be great opening lines for songs in “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall.”

  6. Happy 100th, that is wonderful!

    “I wonder where all unspeakable is kept” is a perfect line… one that I will long remember. And the slant rhymes work really well here!

  7. Marina Sofia – Congratulations on reaching such an important milestone! 100 poems – that’s so impressive. And this one is truly lovely. I like playing around with words too, and you’ve done a neat job of folding that into some thought-provoking ideas.

    1. I admire people who can write something every day, but it’s not quite worked out for me. But I’m really happy that I’ve become more serious about my poetry… or more playful… or both.

  8. woohoo…congrats on your 100 poems….smiles….i like the sound that slant rhymes give a poem, driving it on….those last two lines are pretty haunting…will we ever be whole…will the beast ever be full?

  9. 100 with us, that’s nice, Marina! I’ve discovered poetry too as a form of motivation! It can lead our imagination along many directions! Nicely!

    Hank

  10. Marina, congrats on the poetic century! So very happy to have discovered our words — this poem and so many others are so beautiful! I especially love the question about where the unspeakable is kept — great turn of phrase.

    1. I used to wonder why Emily Dickinson used them a lot – ‘couldn’t she rhyme properly, this woman?’ But they make you think more, perhaps. Thanks for visiting.

    1. You have a wonderful way of conveying movement, sound, texture in your poetry without relying on adjectives. I have a lot to learn from you, thank you for reading and commenting.

  11. Well, I think your experiment was a success:) Beautifully done. Congratulations on your 100th poem on your blog! Most of my poetry has always fallen into this kind of rhyming. I think it’s fun because it can be used to pack a punch or to quietly and steadily express a powerful emotion, just like yours did

  12. I really enjoyed this. I think the idea of using words that rhyme in an off-center kind of way is a nice twist on regular rhyming poetry.

    I agree with you about coming to appreciate poetry more greatly through writing it and spending more time practicing it. 🙂

    1. It’s like symmetry – something slightly off-centre (like in Japanese art) has a charm all its own. Thank you for visiting and happy further writing and exploring!

  13. congrats on the 100 and what a fine way of notching up ‘the ton’.
    the slant and near is very successful imho and these 2 lines leapt out at me

    harvest moon pregnant with damp
    lines that include moon are usual but this is exceptional as a set: great!

    autographs given with minimum fuss
    is such a conceptually light phrase . . . very airy but with substance

    and the way it interacts with the uzz is cute in the clever sense.

    a real pleasure to read 🙂

  14. I thought the second half of this worked especially well, after the line about unspeakable, which gets the brain working…. and the slant rhymes are good too. I find it amazing how a little bit of form helps stimulate original poetry, like this.

    Thanks for visiting my site too.

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