A bottle of grains flung in the sand
harvest moon pregnant with damp
a world of murmurs subsiding to buzz
autographs given with minimum fuss
I wonder where all unspeakable is kept
in what tangle of lies it is wrapped
I wonder when we shall be whole
when the ravenous beast is full.
This is an experiment with near-rhymes or slant-rhymes, which are words that almost rhyme but not quite. As a very auditory person (I used to record lessons in high school, so that I could learn them better), I love playing around with rhymes and rhythms. I usually do far too little of that in my poetry.
This is the 100th poem that I’m posting to this blog – my hundredth poem since I started writing again in February 2012. It may not feel like much, an average of 5 a month, but it is such an improvement to my previous (zero) output! I can also report a change in attitude towards poetry. I used to think of it as a form of procrastination (to avoid having to deal with my novel). But I have now come to love it in its own right, to actually work at it and try out new things. In no small part, thanks to such a fantastic group as the dVerse Poets, so I’m dedicating my 100th poem to them.
findingtimetowrite 
Very nice form and slant rhymes. And congratulations on your 100th poem since resuming writing. I too sometimes wonder where the unspeakable is kept. Smiles.
Thank you, I was doing an idle count of poems at the weekend and when I discovered it was 99, I got very excited!
cool…i think it’s great to work with near and slant rhymes – it gives the poem drive – i often read my poems aloud to hear how they sound and as a non-native in english i let my macbook read my poems to me as well to make sure they’re pronounced correctly.. and that macbook reader voice is the most unemotional voice i have ever heard…makes me laugh out loud sometimes..smiles
Rather like getting the GPS to read them – fun idea!
“I wonder where all unspeakable is kept” – Very good question! Nice use of the slant rhymes.
Thank you – unwriteable also, at times.
It’s brilliant, Marina, and I’ve noticed a change on your poems this past year. I may not always comment, but I read and enjoy them, and I think your dedication to the form is wonderful. Jo x
Awww, bless you, thank you, Jo!
I’m having commenting problems and this is my third attempt (sorry if the two others turn up as well at some point). I like the subtlety of the slant rhymes, which work so very well here. Congrats on the century 🎉
Thanks for your persistence and your congratulations, I do appreciate it. I’ve been having commenting problems as well lately.
Very nice job! Congrats on hitting the 100 mark! 🙂
Thank you. It’s not quite one a day as I originally planned, but…
Enjoyed this a lot. Reminded me of how Bob Dylan wrote a series of what he thought would be great opening lines for songs in “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall.”
Now that you mention it, they would make good opening lines. Thanks for pointing that out!
Happy 100th, that is wonderful!
“I wonder where all unspeakable is kept” is a perfect line… one that I will long remember. And the slant rhymes work really well here!
That seems to be the winner line. Thank you so much for your comment!
Marina Sofia – Congratulations on reaching such an important milestone! 100 poems – that’s so impressive. And this one is truly lovely. I like playing around with words too, and you’ve done a neat job of folding that into some thought-provoking ideas.
I admire people who can write something every day, but it’s not quite worked out for me. But I’m really happy that I’ve become more serious about my poetry… or more playful… or both.
woohoo…congrats on your 100 poems….smiles….i like the sound that slant rhymes give a poem, driving it on….those last two lines are pretty haunting…will we ever be whole…will the beast ever be full?
Constant craving…
100 with us, that’s nice, Marina! I’ve discovered poetry too as a form of motivation! It can lead our imagination along many directions! Nicely!
Hank
Thank you, Hank. Poetry is a great motivator, isn’t it, and so much more ‘portable’ than a novel.
I adore slant rhymes – and this works for me Marina. 😀
Marina, congrats on the poetic century! So very happy to have discovered our words — this poem and so many others are so beautiful! I especially love the question about where the unspeakable is kept — great turn of phrase.
That was meant to say “your” words 🙂
Your words and our words, both fit, and I’m glad to have discovered both!
a wonderful work with slant rhymes! ‘I wonder where all unspeakable is kept’ — this sings to me especially.
The answer probably is ‘in our heart and we keep trying to pour it out or hide it’.
Some gorgeous lines here. Happy 100!
Thank you and congratulations on your win, again!
I like this slant rhyme. I am one who likes a bit of a twist to things. and i like the sound of the harvest moon pregnant with damp
harvest moon pregnant with damp
a world of murmurs subsiding to buzz
Where did you come up with all this? I like this line from yours.
wow! You’ve bended my mind to a whole other level. 🙂
Thanks – I’m really pleased this resonated with you!
I love slant rhymes–gorgeous and evocative! And congrats!!
Thank you – I visit your blog often but find it quite difficult to leave comments at times. Blogger and WordPress do not like each other, it seems.
“I wonder where all unspeakable is kept”
That line got me thinking. Very evocative, as Audrey said. Congrats on #100!
Thank you – so pleased you could come visit!
Slant rhymes, a new concept for me..this read so nicely and I enjoyed your poem.
I used to wonder why Emily Dickinson used them a lot – ‘couldn’t she rhyme properly, this woman?’ But they make you think more, perhaps. Thanks for visiting.
Marina, I love playing with sound, this is nicely done. Congrats on the 100th poem. Journey on…
Pamela
You have a wonderful way of conveying movement, sound, texture in your poetry without relying on adjectives. I have a lot to learn from you, thank you for reading and commenting.
Nicely done and congratulations on your hundredth poem. Keep doing what you love. 🙂
Thank you, I love it more and more!
Well done, Marina!
Oooh, I nearly missed you there amongst the comments. Thank you so much, Jacquie!
100 poems is awesome! And I really like this one, I am a big fan of slant rhymes.
They are interesting, I’m becoming a fan too. Thank you for your visit!
Well, I think your experiment was a success:) Beautifully done. Congratulations on your 100th poem on your blog! Most of my poetry has always fallen into this kind of rhyming. I think it’s fun because it can be used to pack a punch or to quietly and steadily express a powerful emotion, just like yours did
It’s fun, isn’t it? You also use internal rhythms, which I still struggle with. Thank you for your kind words!
Hi, Marina, congratulations on your 100th poem! I enjoyed how the lines were connected, yet independent. Enjoyed the sound, too.
When I wrote it I thought there was a connection, but after posting I realised they do stand quite independently too. Thank you.
I really enjoyed this. I think the idea of using words that rhyme in an off-center kind of way is a nice twist on regular rhyming poetry.
I agree with you about coming to appreciate poetry more greatly through writing it and spending more time practicing it. 🙂
It’s like symmetry – something slightly off-centre (like in Japanese art) has a charm all its own. Thank you for visiting and happy further writing and exploring!
A very successful use of form and words. Great lines in this that stand strong all by themselves.
congrats on the 100 and what a fine way of notching up ‘the ton’.
the slant and near is very successful imho and these 2 lines leapt out at me
harvest moon pregnant with damp
lines that include moon are usual but this is exceptional as a set: great!
autographs given with minimum fuss
is such a conceptually light phrase . . . very airy but with substance
and the way it interacts with the uzz is cute in the clever sense.
a real pleasure to read 🙂
Thank you for your detailed comment – it’s like having a writing group with me. I really appreciate that.
I thought the second half of this worked especially well, after the line about unspeakable, which gets the brain working…. and the slant rhymes are good too. I find it amazing how a little bit of form helps stimulate original poetry, like this.
Thanks for visiting my site too.
Poetic form is like grammar, isn’t it? You can break with it so much better if you know it. Thank you for your visit and comment.
Great imagery and better ideas – I really liked ready this aloud. Keep writing. Congrats on your 100th poem.
Poetry is nearly always better read aloud, I agree! Thank you.
Yes, I hear this as a murmur and the slant/half rhymes deliver that understatement very effectively. It’s a n intriguing piece.
Sort of half-cynical murmur, trying not to overstate things. Absolutely. Thank you for your comment, Becky.
Congratulations on 100! This has scrumptious diction and a wonderful cadence!
Your scrumptious comment brings me joy, thank you!
100! Congrats.
Here’s to many more for both of us!
100! Nice…way to stick with it…I enjoyed reading this aloud, the slants give it life…like the close, too…don’t know if the beast will ever be full.
That’s an incredible amount of output. I’m so impressed!
Brilliant, love the poem and the concept and well done on your collection, your first 100! Looking forward to 101 🙂
Happy 100 Marina 🙂