In one of the poetry workshops I attended at the Geneva Writers Conference, we were encouraged to allow our minds to amble aimlessly like a camel, to allow words to come to us. Here is my result (on a topic which is obviously becoming a bit of an obsession with me). I am linking it to dVerse Poets’ much-loved and always interesting Open Link Night, which should be starting this evening (European time).
The straitjackets of corporates I seek to embellish
with jewel-coloured scarves.
The coffin-planks of business jargon I scrape on emery boards
to soften with a smile.
Within the gnarl of strategic progression I untangle
a few words that buzz
– raw and angry – Swiss army knives shredding my pocket
they clamour for rebirth
shimmering Morganas, outside and beside their utilitarian desert.
I undress them
watch them shiver
hear them groan and misbehave.
Done with coaxing I am cruel.
Beseech no more I point the way.
Take no prisoners, gloves are off.
Yet their world of cloned rabbits have leeched me out of colour.
Discipline is my undoing.
My words jump through endless monochrome hoops
how they conform
how they confirm
docility is taking over the circus.
Marina Sofia – What an eloquent and powerful way to show how ‘corporate think’ and ‘buzzwords’ can stifle individual thought and creativity if one lets them. I understand exactly what you mean here.
I started this poem off all optimistic about being able to vanquish the corporate jargon, but in the end the poem surprised me by allowing the words to vanquish me…
As an escapee from corporate hell, you made me shiver from the memory of the sheer mind-numbingness of it all. Love the idea of your embellished straitjacket…
It’s getting harder and harder to straddle the two worlds and the hypocrisy of the one kills me…
I know. I retreated back into the public sector eventually, but I’m afraid corporate mentality and doublethink has nearly as big a hold in that now too.
the corporate world can be a tough place…ugh… i’m trying to balance both…i have the illusion probably i manage…ha.. interesting on the workshop..to allow our minds to amble aimlessly like a camel, to allow words to come to us….. ha i like…i have to try..
It all started from a poem by Rumi ‘Drink the wine that moves you/ as a camel moves when it’s been untied/ and is just ambling about’. Funnily enough, a prescriptive poem about lack of restraints…
This hit hard on me.. the corporate jargon.. there are so many followers… that just reads too much into it… hmmm maybe like some poetry… Doing corporate jargon poetry would be something.
I did try something like that once, but am finding it increasingly depressing rather than funny!
Indeed… I guess it’s not the content but the repetitions that turn them into platitudes…
Yes, despite the apparent wandering of the word selection and the open structure, this forms a highly coherent whole with a clear message – an interesting use of words – far from random in the end!
The poem surprised me with the way it was heading at the end, to be honest. But I guess if we knew right away what we thought and wanted to say, we wouldn’t write poetry.
ah i would rather my words have wild freedom you know….i like where you went with this…the personification of the words is cool…the undressing, them shivering…i am glad i escaped corporate life…i would not want to condemn my words to it…smiles.
Stripping them to the basics… Lucky you to have escaped corporate life, it is such a brainwashing event.
so true, your last line…docility will be the undoing of us all and the circus will become Romanesque in its cruel absurdity.
Long live rebellion, right? Yet my poem ends on a not very optimistic note, I’m afraid…
how they conform! in the end your tone is almost seething … and I get it. With the right embellishments, straitjackets can be so alluring ;)
Seething is the exactly the right word… thank you!
I like the outcome of the writing process ~ I am breathing the corporate life that is why the ending lines are my favorite ~
Another one who is enslaved but plodding on… At least we have poetry and the arts to keep us sane, right?
It may have come from an aimless amble like a camel, but aimless is ain’t! A powerful poem – extraordinary.
Thank you, Polly. I suppose if you allow your mind to wander, it will come up with the things you care most passionately about. So this ambling thing is wiser than it sounds!
And now YOU hit the nail on the head. Excellent write, and I agree!
You have made your point strongly and artfully!
O, I do like this, Marina! Clever, timely, and powerful! xo ~jackie~
Loved this! It’s great to just let your mind wander, isn’t it? Because it strangely makes sense… :)
I enjoyed the idea of the rambling nature of the exercise and you treated the corporate world, how apt. Well done Marina.
Thank you, it’s good to ramble…
I enjoyed reading this unique and well-penned reflection on capturing words, on writing–especially the phrase below:
“they clamour for rebirth
shimmering Morganas, outside and beside their utilitarian desert.”
Great choice of words in this. So often this type of subject pulls up cliches; this did not. Nicely done.
The cliches are all theirs, I hope, although they do occasionally affect me…
This is excellent writing!True,how many of us get enmeshed in this illusory world of corporate jargon,losing our ability to think freely and as you rightly said,too much discipline only reinforces that and people end up conforming and confirming :-)
A bit of a workshop poem but also it shows how the prose and poetry writers are always conversing–arguing, haranguing, haruspicating, weaving back and forth between the procession of a thought and the elegance of an image. At the end it isn’t clear if the dessication of the them is due to corporate or literary or some other ghastly command–maybe it’s just the superego, or we’re maybe just getting older–and by not answering that the poem remains fertile. Maybe modernity leaves us with no other choices.
Dessication – I love that word. Hmmm, now that opens up a whole new path… Thank you, Brendan.