Summer Break – and My First Sonnet

It’s a very special Open Link Night over at dVerse Poets today – the last one before the summer holidays. So join us there for some fireworks, summer fun and lots of good poetry! Which my example below is probably not, but it’s my first attempt at a sonnet. [I don’t usually do formal poetic forms.]

From the Big Cat Small Cat advert by Whiskas.

You tell me love’s for fools and nuts, so crazy,

You say that you could teach me, given time,

Your memory of summers glimmer hazy:

‘Since when is being vague and rushed a crime?’

You seep through cracks with treacled words and varnish,

You temper barbs with little bits of verse.

Not sure. Is it my thoughts you seek to tarnish?

Or do you think your wounds are much, much worse?

Just like a pensioned horse, when this is over,

I want to pick a shady field to hide,

Be put to graze in four-leaved clover,

Lay saddle, bridle to distant side.

And, from your perch of plenty, safety, height,

You’ll watch my frolics, joy and sunshine bright.



38 thoughts on “Summer Break – and My First Sonnet”

  1. That is one heck of a good sonnet! I particularly like the rallentando effect of the two tetramater lines building to the flourish of the final couplet. Congratulations. I bet you come to write more sonnets now you’ve broken your duck.

    1. Ooops, is that what I’ve done? I thought I’d stuck to pentameter throughout… mutters… goes back to careful counting…
      But thanks for your encouragement, Viv, it’s quite a fun form. I’ve always enjoyed reading them, that’s for sure.

      1. There! I thought you’d done it on purpose, because it worked so well! Don’t be too rigid in counting – and it’s also acceptable to vary the iambs with the occasional dactyl or spondee! It’s the poem that’s important, not slavish adherence to rules.

  2. smiles… i do think love’s for fools and nuts…ha… a little bit crazy is not bad at all you know… the wounds there in the middle made me swallow a bit… love always makes us vulnerable i think but categorizing those wounds doesn’t really help…oy…love the clover bed and get a feel of distance in the close… ha… cool job on your first sonnet….the volta works well

    1. Thank you, Claudia, crazy is my middle name, or should that be cynical? Somehow, sonnets lend themselves to love, but I hope to write more on other topics too.

  3. Beautifully lyrical write and with depth too – a treat to read Marina … Especially liked: “You seep through cracks with treacled words and varnish…” and: “I want to pick a shady field to hide…” With Best Wishes scot

    1. Put out to pasture was the recurring image in my head as I wrote this – perhaps slightly envious of a donkey I saw last night, although he was crying real tears…

  4. ha. well you are better than i…i have never written a sonnet, that is not broken in some way…ha…love i am fairly sure is for the crazy…because it will lead you places you never thought you would go…hopefully not into the paonful places there in the middle…at least not too often…

  5. Beautifully penned sonnet. I admire anyone with the patience to perfect one – which you did. A shady field with clover sounds good to me! Smiles.

  6. Deep down, we all want the same things, don’t we? This is beautifully told, and yes, fools and nuts and crazy… I’ll take that any day. Life is much more fun that way ;-)

  7. I would never believe this was your first sonnet–perfect iambic, perfect rhyme without being sing-songy (and you didn’t choose the easiest words to work with) and perfect turn at the end. I turn to this type of poetry (writing) when I feel stuck. It almost always unglues me!

    1. Thank you, Victoria – that really means a lot to me! I remember reading somewhere that all creation is a form of problem-solving and that placing some form of constraint on your writing (be it form, rhyme, rhythm or word count) actually frees it up.

  8. There’s no revenge like happiness and joy. I liked the cadence of your sonnet. May this first sonnet be the harbinger of more to come. :-)

  9. me and form poetry are like oil and water – don’t mix… corny, but still… ugh lol.

    everybody is a lil crazy (it’s the ones who deny it you have to watch for… smiles)
    This poem made me think of a couple I saw on a documentary, “Stripped: Greg Friedler’s Naked Las Vegas:” both partners were intersex, completely nocturnal (said they never wake up before 10pm) and so free… that’s the kind of love a lot would say is “odd” or “strange,” but you can’t help but to be amazed at how compatible they were with each other… okay, done blabbing now :)

    1. That sounds interesting: folie a deux, but in a positive way!
      Yes, I always struggle with form poetry, but it’s probably good discipline to operate with constraints every now and then. Helps tidy the mind? Well, in my case, it does.

  10. A gorgeous sonnet. If this is your first I’m looking forward to more. I love the horse running free metaphor along with “you looking at me”, it’s quite a powerful statement. It’s taking hold of your self and becoming independent. A fine attitude in this well written poem! Enjoyed it a lot!

Do share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s