I am reposting a poem that I’ve written a few months back, as it was hidden in a long text about other books and other thoughts. It’s in response to the prompt on dVerse Poets to write about trains. I thought at once of Anna Karenina, but transposed to our present-day world.
She walks into the station as
if nothing could reach out or jostle
her intent; as
if the icy sheen on her forehead
gives her an armour of aloofness, invisible
to mortals.
Her foresight is complete, her pockets emptied of clues.
No noise to pierce her eardrums, she glides through crowds
erect and poised.
Her spine gains inches as if
the stone-weight of family has left her shoulders.
She drifts up the staircase, and crowds part
at the gauntness of her stare.
First up, then down,
directions cease to matter
if the journey’s end is one.
She’ll catch a moment when
they’re wrapped up in their small partings,
their music and emails,
their lives all about tasks, not noticing.
One breath
and she takes flight.
The screech of that train
branding scarlet letters on herds
trapped in search for romance.
I really like the multiple layers here, Marina Sofia. There’s the woman’s internal turmoil, her outer calm, and everyone else’s reactions. Nicely textured.
the big and the little getaways while those around us are busy with other things… sometimes it’s the small in-between journeys that i even find more fascinating than the big ones
i can’t believe i didn’t see this… i was totally in a different direction and i must’ve been even more tired than i realized…
I get that many a time when reading a poem – or see something completely different than the poet intended or other readers saw. Thanks for commenting, hope your hand is getting better…
Oh hell. What an ending.
You give little hints at what is going on for her,
but if I was going to go – I dont think I would choose jumping in front
of a train. Can you imagine getting mangled and living through it.
Geez.
You’d have to pick the lines with the fast, non-stopping trains of course… Not that I’ve contemplated that carefully, but…
You’ve created such a mystic in this, of Anna Karenina, yes, but it also reminded me of a move I saw when I was maybe 10 years old about a ballerina who jumped in front of a train. Funny (drole) how this prompt evokes so much emotion and so many memories for me.
I think I may have seen something like that too, plus a number of ‘incidents on the line’ when I was commuting. Sorry I went onto the dark side, although trains also bring back very happy, yearning memories for me.
I love this. Like, really, really love it. Superb writing. I will read this several times.
Oh, thank you, my dear, most flattered!
Wow. In.cred.ible. Yes such purpose, such desperation. Those scarlet letters branding the masses…this is a train poem that slices right through it all.
Thought very much of ‘The Scarlet Letter’ by Hawthorne, and how Anna herself is vilified for being an adulteress (while Vronsky – not so much, admired for being a dashing scoundrel, no doubt).
Gosh! This is absolutely incredible 😀
Beautifully penned 😀
Thank you, it’s a reprise, with just a few lines altered, from a poem I wrote in Noember or so.
This part gave me the chills:
directions cease to matter
if the journey’s end is one.
So sad when the ending is the choice to be killed that way ~
Having done counselling with suicidal people, that is precisely the problem: that they can see no alternative solution. If you can get them to envisage anything else but an end (which does make them blissful, rather than anxious), you stand a chance of making them live… for a while longer.
Oh, yes, I see Anna Karenina.
One is transported superbly along with Anna parting the crowd, steam hisses & whistles & coupling cars & banging baggage, as the din in the crowd drowns out the solitary scream, misses the lethal dive; excellent retread, perfectly suits the prompt.
Not so sure about the steam… although, yes, in mind there is steam in railway stations… but doesn’t fit with the mobile phones. It’s a modern-day Anna, after all (inspired by reading a book called ‘Hausfrau’).
Thank you for being on the same wave-length though…
That is definitely quite a tale! The ending is indeed stunning!
I love the depiction of “the stone weight of family has left her shoulders”—such a tangible description that makes the relief palpable to the reader.
She’s stopped caring and left them behind… dangerous when the exhilarating freedom in that is actually the freedom to die.
Oh.. crowded subways.. flesh presses
against flesh.. but distance..
is never further
in existence..:)
the inner pain that takes us to that place…. I hope she found peace. I enjoyed the subtle way your described her movements to telegraph her intent to us.
“directions cease to matter / if the journey’s end is one.”…tragic and chilling…it would have been so much better for her if the journey was towards life…sigh…
Oh, I didn’t expect that ending. Superb! Sad too. Great writing.
“branding scarlet letters on herds
trapped in search for romance.”
Loved that !!
ugh, this so beautifully tragic… I love the layers, the little hints you gave us… but I still want to know more. Like an actual event. When i was 12, I witnessed a lady jump from the 9th floor of the senior highrise behind my house. I wondered why, what was the final straw… I felt that within this. Bravo.
Love the way you’ve updated that original idea to the present day. Less dreamy now that there is music and emails to keep travellers occupied during their journey.
I loved it. It’s reality-grounded, I noticed that. Thanks.
Greetings from London.
One breath and she takes flight.
The screech of that train
branding scarlet letters on herds
trapped in search for romance.
Great ending Marina! At least there is some hopeful kind of yearnings that may come her way
http://imagery77.blogspot.com/2015/07/people-movers-in-many-places.html
Hank
I like the way the train theme seems to bring about a duality in the different poems I have read so far, including yours. As mass transit, train travel can stifle passions as a sort of limbo-state, but also highlight passions which contrast with the more mundane aspects of travel and commuting. I like the modern twist on Anna Karenina 🙂
My American MC rides a train in Italy after having a fight with his wife and sees a beautiful young woman. This could have been written by her.