Haibun: Fear of Sparrows

This is my first attempt at a haibun, a form that I have seen quite a few of my fellow poets attempt at the dVerse Poets Pub. So tonight, for Open Link Night with Grace, I thought I’d give it a whirl myself. Not quite right for the Dog Days of Summer prompt earlier this week, but moving in that direction…

You trill and chirp, flutter hither and thither with worms, blades of grass, twiglets in your beak. The tree branches shiver in anticipation of your landing. All hops and thrills, you sway and tilt your winsome head sideways with cheeky flourish.

I so want to make friends. But can you not feel the menace of our feline, belly crouched below the green line? Perhaps we should have fastened bells to her collar, or perhaps she’ll be too slow. I know we’ve let the grass grow too long: one swift spring and your family could be decimated.

Small but persistent
They play happy families –
Sparrows on my sill.

30 thoughts on “Haibun: Fear of Sparrows”

  1. I think you’ve captured the ‘aliveness’ of the sparrow so very well, Marina Sofia. And it does make me wonder just how aware the sparrows may be of your feline overlord. Probably more aware than we humans know…

  2. Our old cat scored dinner with some young robins in a nest on our deck eaves; sad but we could not scold Keezie, who was just giving in to his natural instincts. Your virgin effort is a superb Haibun, classic in its form , & the haiku was impressive too; nice work.

  3. Oh the contrast between the sparrow and the feline.. we hope and pray that the sparrow will make it.. but we do love our feline friends as well.. I really like your prose part here… wonderful and alive.

  4. Excellent work! You made me really see the sparrows. My cat came home with a wren in his mouth and dropped at my feel when I clappled my hands loudly at him. The wren shook itself then flew away. Embarrased, my cat slunk back into the house. I think we are going to have to have a poetics or MTB with haibun. they seem to be getting popular. The non-traditional American at the end is very nice as well. I like those persistent, happy families, in spite of all the predator kitties.

  5. Oh, I am hoping for the survival of the sparrow. I hope they are able to avoid the feline! I enjoyed reading your first haibun.

  6. This is an awesome first haibun! I love the bit about the feline, though putting on bells doesn’t always help. We had a cat once with two bells and he still decimated a few birds in his day. The current kitty is too slow. 😉 Peace, Linda

    1. She did have a bell on her collar (together with her name and phone number), but she managed to get the bell off while still keeping her name tablet on. If that doesn’t sound like careful planning, I don’t know what does…

  7. I love the sounds and thoughts of the sparrow in the first, and the cat in the second ~ A technique I have used in this form is to write the haiku with a different topic or with a contrasting imagery to the prose ~

    Congrats on the haibun Marina ~ Love the sparrows on the sill ~

    1. Ah, a haiku on a different topic? I thought it had to be a kind of summing up of the essence of the previous lines… Clearly, must still work a bit to understand the haibun. We really should have another more detailed prompt on dVerse about it… Am having fun with the form.

  8. It’s always a pleasure to tinker with new forms, and I think your lines do this Haibun justice here. Thank you for sharing!

  9. There are so many “delicious” words in this, Marina. I use this descriptor because if you read it aloud, they just tickle the tongue. Huge success with the form. Every sentence is poetic.

  10. Great! My soul resonated immediately with the picture and insight here – which was a lovely feeling… Thank you

  11. have you seen that study that indicates that as many as 3.7 *billion* birds are killed annually in the US by cats? sobering… ~

    1. I know: it’s horrible. I try to keep her in when the birds are at their most active, put bells on her collar and so on. I have noticed that the birds are giving our house a wide berth now…

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