Narrative Poem: Moonlight Madness

For Kelly’s last appearance at the dVerse Poets Pub (as a bartender, I mean, we hope to see her as a participant every now and then), she has asked us to write a narrative poem. That is quite a challenge for me, as I tend to be introverted and elliptic in my poetry. So here is my attempt. 

We left the chalet that evening,
my lover, my best friend and me.
We’d imbibed mulled wine to warm up,
we’d joked about improving our slalom under the influence.
We thought we could see in the dark
with the fire of our youth and hearts to guide us.
The full moon shone brazen above the trees
and had us howling at it, in-between singing ‘Stand by Me’.
No one but us on the pistes,
nothing but the swish of our magical skis in parallel,
then the faint catch-up glide of my friend.
More singing, more racing,
burning thighs and tired knees forgotten in the turquoise fire of his eyes.
‘Let me jump over that ramp!’
‘Don’t be crazy!’ we protested but he was macho among the girls,
a professional among amateurs, aiming to impress.
We made our way to the end of the piste to see his arrival.
We heard his yell,
we saw him flying,
we felt the ground shudder at his landing.
His face pocked by fine gravel, I wiped his blood
with snow and tissues.
I kissed his wounds
until I felt
a bitter smell,
a putrid glance.
My friend’s eyes burning patches in the snow,
her jealousy darting ice on my cheeks.
Her love placed on his altar in offering.
My friend no longer.

Moonlight skiing, from
Moonlight skiing, from

17 thoughts on “Narrative Poem: Moonlight Madness”

  1. Oh, this is potent, Marina Sofia! It really tells the story so effectively (which, after all, is one of the important points of a narrative poem, isn’t it?). You evoke really strong mental images, too.

  2. ‘The full moon shone brazen above the trees
    and had us howling at it, in-between singing ‘Stand by Me’.’
    Loved this so much. Absorbing read and a kicking twist to end. Excellent.

  3. Three silhouettes in the moonlight; speed, ardor, deception–components for tragedy. First we worry about this & then hiss at him; classic twist.

  4. Oof, a tell-tale heart story, filled with tension, heartache and betrayal. You really lead us up to that moment just perfectly. I think you did a great job with the narrative!

  5. So much to work with here, and yet a great piece to stand alone. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone. That is good! Your poetry will flourish because of it! Stay the course!

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