Why I Am Such a Sloth…

It’s not the move (or, to use corporate terminology, the international relocation). It’s not the scrabbling around trying to find the financial paperwork for discussion at mediation services (and realising you are about 4 years out of date with everything and your pension is worth nothing). It’s not even the lack of internet or frenetic preparation for school, while trying not to show your older son that you are anxious about his lack of confirmed school place.

It’s not even when all of your devices conspire to let you down all at once. Unrepairable. Making you buy new ones or inherit other people’s used ones and resetting everything all at once, on a new system, on a new service provider, in a new language and keyboard. Verification after verification. Forgotten passwords. I could have handled a single phone or a laptop or a tablet, but all three at once! Then discovering you have invested in the wrong new tablet, which does not support Netgalley documents, so more than half of all your ebooks have disappeared.

From Colonels Retreat website.
From Colonels Retreat website.

Let’s add a little bit of extra seasoning to that, shall we?

It’s discovering that your younger son has been a little too eager to construct his Ikea furniture and has done it the wrong way (and now those screws can’t be taken out without causing damage). It’s finding that your walls are not receptive to ordinary nails, but require power tools so you can’t hang anything up. It’s having your parents (mercifully at a distance) blaming you for other people’s unhappiness (past, present and future) but pshawing and downplaying your own. It’s waking up every morning with backache and worrying if you will be strong enough to guide the children through the heart-breaking months to follow. It’s searching for jobs online and realising that the ones you like don’t pay enough for you to live on, while the ones you don’t like require you to travel excessively and/or make people redundant. (Think George Clooney in ‘Up in the Air’) It’s having your soon-to-be ex-husband coming to visit for a long weekend and being laid up in bed with a bad back for the entire time (when I was hoping he could help me bring some things down from the loft).

In short, it’s waking up to cumulative and repetitive reality.

From Huffington Post.
From Huffington Post.

Luckily, I’ve now found another old tablet (long may it last!) and have solved my Netgalley problem, so at least I can have my daily dose of reading escapism.

On Monday, school starts. And hopefully, so will my writing. Now we’re cooking!

36 thoughts on “Why I Am Such a Sloth…”

  1. I’m so sorry you’ve had so many difficulties lately, Marina Sofia. Any one of them is difficult enough in and of itself. Add them up and you get to the end of your proverbial rope. I hope things ease up very soon for you – I really do. And in the meantime, at least you have access to your Netgalley books again :-). Hang in there.

    1. I had 62 on my shelf on Netgalley still waiting to be reviewed, and about 5 of them were rather imminently due, so I had a moment of panic. Now, all I need is some time to read and review them… Don’t suppose you have any of that lying around?

  2. Oh Marina! Sounds like you’ve been struggling with a hideous bout of reality – it’s very bad for you, you know…. :s But seriously, I hope you can keep it together – once the kids are at school I’m sure that will give you a little more breathing space to get into some kind of routine. Chin up, and sending you positive thought-waves!

    1. Then I have to start preparing for running some courses for which I’ll be travelling back to Geneva for – because, sadly, during my time there I barely ever had workshops in that town itself, always had to travel for work. But now that I’m back in the UK… Murphy’s law, clearly!

      1. Ha! might end up meeting up with you there after all 🙂 I hope just writing all this down had some kind of positive cathartic effect …

  3. I shouldn’t really be comparing my frequent national somersaults with that of your ‘international relocation’ and the attendant snafu, but fortunately for me, my gadgets don’t change all at the same time apart from the Internet and telephony providers. Still, I can relate with your woes with the schools and walls and many more things left unsaid.

    1. That sounds like an excellent title for a poem: ‘Schools and Walls’ – so thank you for that idea… see, you already have started my creative juices flowing!

  4. Oh my God! Couldn’t agree more with Margot – one’s enough; the lot together a nightmare. And being a single parent is a tough gig, I know from experience. I hope and pray you are over the worst – you’re a tough cookie, and I know it’s a cliché but it’s true – what doesn’t kill you…

    1. Thank you for your encouragement, my dear. I think (hope) I’ll be fine once I’m truly single, it’s this messy transitional phase which is a pain… but then I’ve never been very patient with long-drawn-ou things. I prefer clean cuts, but those are not always possible.

  5. Ooof – poor you, Marina! What a lot on your plate! Why is it that so often everything clashes and happens at once? But a new month – and a favourite month at that (for me at least) – will hopefully bring you some much-needed space to breathe and recover. I hope so! 🙂

  6. Eek! Sounds like a problem avalanche. My motto is ‘bodge it until you get the time to do it properly’.

  7. Oh, Marina! Just reading that makes me feel wrung out. I hope your back begins to feel a little better – all that tension can’t be good for it – and that some sunshine appears on your horizon soon.

    1. Oh, and I forgot to mention that on our trip to Ikea the other day, my mobile phone dropped out of my bag, opened up and my SIM card got destroyed in the process. So I’m now waiting for a new SIM card to arrive and hope I don’t have to change my number yet again! It’s not a tragedy, it’s so implausible, it’s a farce!

  8. Yikes! What an accumulation on issues you’re having to deal with right now. As a fellow bad back sufferer, I can understand how debilitating that must be for you right now, especially on top of everything else. Wishing you all the best for a speedy resolution on multiplayer fronts.

  9. God, what an exhausting few weeks/months you’ve been having! I’m hoping very much that you experience some random acts of kindness from strangers on the street, to make up for all that. Hang in there. xx

  10. I am impressed that you find the time/energy to blog at all. May you find soon a good job (money doesn’t solve all the problems, but it definitely does help).

    1. Blogging has become a bit like a diary (much to the detriment of my actual diary) – and no doubt it’s not a wise move, to be sharing intimate details with all and sundry, even though most of the people responding are lovely and sympathetic. Ah, well, wisdom and I have parted paths a long while ago…

  11. You don’t sound slothful to me, just overwhelmed. What a horror-bag collection of events. Hopefully you can find a way through it all (it sounds like you are doing) and can at least allow yourself some time to relax and rediscover those cumulative and repetitive little wonderful moments that make all the rest of it worth putting up with. Be well.

    1. I have to admit I’m a stickler for little routines and habits and need them in order to be productive and creative, so can’t wait for things to settle down, thank you for your kind words!

  12. Ugh! It sounds as if it’s all been horrible! Hopefully things will settle down a bit once the boys are safely ensconced at school and you cand find at least a little time for yourself…

  13. The wheel always turns in the end. Better days will come (can’t remember who said that to me the other day, I’m having a horrible summer myself..) Hang in there. Sending you positive thoughts and virtual hugs. X

  14. Sounds like hard going all right. On the plus side, at least you will be free and not in captivity. It is obvious your ex husband has been almost the whole of this problem and I am quite angry with him and his bad back on your behalf.

    I predict dramatic weight loss when you leave the country. Roughly commensurate with your ex husband’s poundage.

    Warmest wishes, Susan

  15. Oh my, I am so sorry! Talk about Rentrus Horribilis. I keep my fingers crossed that the bad series stops very soon for you and your family. You have all the material you need for a dark humor tale to be written from a distance, once everything will be calmer and better. If I can do anything to help, let me know. Sending good vibes across the Channel…

  16. I sympathize with all of your difficulties at this time, but things will improve as you find a job and your children adjust to their new school and surroundings, make friends, etc.

    One point that you make that I certainly have as a rule is to read good, riveting fiction while going through hard times. There is nothing like this distraction and diversion. It’s amazing what good books can do for an avid reader. And read whatever you need to read.

    I sometimes read “psychological thrillers” as escapist reading and tell myself I should be reading award-nominated fiction. However, I have read some Bailey Women Writers’ Prize nominees, which were good, mixed in with the mysteries.

    Liane Moriarty is on my to-read list, just have to find the time.

    Best wishes in England to you and your sons.

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