There is still plenty of unfinished business on the French side of my administrative papers, so I amused myself with some ‘literal’ translations of their menacing letters. Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf and wakes up at night panicking about fines and other punishments? Not me, not me!
Apple of the Côte, apples of all orchards unite!
Pursue this chance
limit the number of dates you go out on
keep your bearing regal
and return your ransom
in the envelope joined to the hip of this letter.
You major retard.
Even I can’t keep the imperatives and bad language out.
findingtimetowrite 
Do keep your bearing regal but whatever you do don’t return the ransom!
Brilliant 😀
This is fabulous! 🙂 , Marina Sofia!! So funny how language can be mistranslated like that, and the result can be hilarious.
I had a lot of fun with this…
But why must you limit your dates? How cruel!!! 🙂
You major retard! You can blame it all on Google translate… or the French education system that makes us hopeless in foreign languages. If you need to be comforted, I can assure you that normal French people don’t understand the letters from the tax services either.
That’s the one thing that keeps me going… especially all the ‘entrepreneurs’ or ‘professions liberales’ stuff. It’s written in impenetrable code.
You think the French are hopeless in foreign languages? Come to Italy: hopeless is an understatement, most school language teaching is still pre-WWII…
I like “you major retard” – reminds me of our juvenile cackling in French class in elementary school when we learned how to say “I’m late”…
In Romania we giggled about the ‘I’ll be in the schoolyard’ (court) which sounds exactly like the (rude) Romanian word for ‘bum’.
That is EXCELLENT.
Hahaha! I think it’s so unfair of them to make you limit your dates! Typical French – they have to bring romance into everything! 😉
Haha don’t all forms imply that anyone who is filling them in is a major retard? Great post and hopefully it’s made the job slightly more enjoyable?
Ah the poetry of taxes. Always underrated.
That’s hilarious! 😀