WWWednesday 15th March: What Are You Reading?

WWW Wednesday is a meme hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words. It’s open for anyone to join in and is a great way to share what you’ve been reading! All you have to do is answer three questions and share a link to your blog in the comments section of Sam’s blog.

The three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?

What did you recently finish reading?

What do you think you’ll read next?

A similar meme is run by Lipsyy Lost and Found where bloggers share This Week in Books #TWiB.

Currently reading:

Emma Flint: Little Deaths

From the blurb: It’s 1965 in a tight-knit working-class neighborhood in Queens, New York, and Ruth Malone–a single mother who works long hours as a cocktail waitress–wakes to discover her two small children, Frankie Jr. and Cindy, have gone missing. Later that day, Cindy’s body is found in a derelict lot a half mile from her home, strangled. Ten days later, Frankie Jr.’s decomposing body is found. Immediately, all fingers point to Ruth. As police investigate the murders, the detritus of Ruth’s life is exposed. Seen through the eyes of the cops, the empty bourbon bottles and provocative clothing which litter her apartment, the piles of letters from countless men and Ruth’s little black book of phone numbers, make her a drunk, a loose woman–and therefore a bad mother.

Harriet Lerner: Why Won’t You Apologize?

From the blurb: Lerner challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind and helps those who have been injured to resist pressure to forgive too easily. She explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, and why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own their misdeeds. With her trademark humour and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

Just read:

Louise Penny: The Beautiful Mystery – Gamache and Beauvoir are not in Three Pines this time, but in a remote monastery awash with Gregorian chants. Comfort reading for me, as I love everything that Penny writes.

Antonin Varenne: Retribution Road – rip-roaring adventure, think Taboo with more international travelling and a serial killer. Varenne will be at Quais du Polar in Lyon this year.

Next in line:

Rachel Cusk: Transit – good timing or too close to life?

In the wake of family collapse, a writer and her two young sons move to London. The process of upheaval is the catalyst for a number of transitions—personal, moral, artistic, practical—as she endeavors to construct a new reality for herself and her children.

Thomas Enger: Cursed – now this sounds like perfect escapism, I;ve been saving it up for comfort reading.

When Hedda Hellberg fails to return from a retreat in Italy, where she has been grieving for her recently dead father, her husband discovers that his wife’s life is tangled in mystery. Hedda never left Oslo, the retreat has no record of her and, what’s more, she appears to be connected to the death of an old man, gunned down on the first day of the hunting season in the depths of the Swedish forests. Henning Juul becomes involved in the case when his ex-wife joins in the search for the missing woman, and the estranged pair find themselves enmeshed both in the murky secrets of one of Sweden’s wealthiest families, and in the painful truths surrounding the death of their own son.

So, what are your reading plans for this week? And have you read any of the above?

Envy, 3 a.m.

I know I always pick on Facebook, but I really don’t like the showing-offiness of that platform. I haven’t completely abandoned it, because it did help me to reconnect with some long-lost school friends, but I visit it as little as possible.

From Cosmopolitan.

Afright from a nightmare where my mother once more

waxes satirical about my weight,

I shake off the sludge of family binds and turn

to my friends in the blue glow of pre-dawn screens.

That’s the way we do it now: no calling, no comfort

of voice. Mere updates and pictures of lives

manicured like a Wimbledon lawn.

But, curated or not, I still care about my mates

or so I think                 until I see

pictures of a party with all my favourite things

tailor-made for my friend and me.


Except I never received an invite.

Limbo or Purgatory? Advice for the Impatient

While having dinner with a couple of friends this weekend, I said I was fed up of my limbo situation and that it’s high time things moved on. Other than reassurances that  things are bound to change soon and that nothing but death is permanent, this statement also gave me a germ of an idea for further research. People who have not had any religious education whatsoever (like me) tend to glibly assume that limbo and purgatory are much the same thing, and that they refer to ‘transition states’. However, the truth is of course much more complex. Needless to say, it’s the Catholics who have raised the subject to an art form so I will refer mainly to their interpretation. (I always associate Catholic doctrine with the Baroque – they do like to overcomplicate things but can lead to stunningly beautiful results – but that’s a topic for a different post.)

Escape from Purgatory, copyright Voytek Nowakowski, for CG Society.org

Limbo is not part of the official doctrine, but has been accepted by many Catholic scholars as the temporary state of those worthy people (who perhaps committed some minor sins but no more than that) who could not enter Heaven until redeemed by Jesus Christ. So, essentially those who were born before the birth of Christ and therefore could not have heard of him or been saved by him are in a waiting room.

In the Divine Comedy, Dante depicts Limbo as the first circle of Hell, but above it, a castle stuffed to the gills with virtuous pagans of classical history and mythology, such as Julius Caesar, Virgil, Electra and Orpheus, as well as non-Christians.

Purgatory is for those souls who have sinned, and are not sufficiently free of their sins (i.e. have not prayed enough or led a life of penance) to go to heaven. The outcome (heaven) is not in doubt, but they have to pass through a sort of spiritual car-wash to get there. Except, this being all biblical and fearsome, the cleansing is done through painful punishment, most often by fire.

Dante likens it to climbing a steep mountain, with seven levels of suffering (one for each of the seven deadly sins), which are also opportunities for spiritual growth. Earthly paradise – the Garden of Eden – awaits at the top and let’s hope that it is serpent-free or else you might have to start the long ascent all over again.

So, which one of these states am I in?

At first glance, it must be purgatory, although the final outcome of heaven may seem in some doubt. Certainly all of my deadly sins are taking a pummeling: Pride is being shattered through daily rejections, which provokes Wrath and Gluttony (a lot of nervous comfort eating). I become envious of others who seem to lead normal lives and have become really stingy with my money for fear of losing it all (avarice). Finally, there are days when sloth gets the better of me and I am so struck by the futility of all of my efforts, that the best policy is to just stay under the duvet.

But there are even worse days when I think limbo is the operative word after all. Waiting with no end in sight. For someone as impatient and active as myself, this seems very much like the entrance-way to hell.

Tangled in Purgatory, from art-inspired-life.blogspot.co.uk

So what advice can I offer myself (and anyone else who is impatient but stuck in a transition stage)? Don’t worry, I’m not going all ‘wise coaching guru’ on you. I’m just reminding myself, because I haven’t cracked it yet, by any means. [Warning: Mixed metaphors may follow.]

  1. Find small things to enjoy in the present but also things to look forward to in the near future. A combination of mindfulness and anticipation.

I still try to keep on filling that biscuit tin with little scraps of paper on which I scribble things that have made me happy. Most recent example: surviving a 7 mile walk through forests, up and down hills, despite the rain and mud.

But I also try to have at least one thing to look forward to every week. This week, it will be quite a major thing: a whole day in London, taking in London Book Fair, meeting up with several friends, and a poetry reading in the evening. Other weeks, it’s been something much smaller: a film, dinner with friends, a book I’ve been meaning to read for ages.

2. Stop being afraid of not being in control at all times.

Yes, lack of control is horrible for most of us, but there are times when external circumstances really do push us in ways we cannot do much about, no matter how many self-help books we read or how many times we are told that we become what we think.

Two things help me gain perspective. First, I ask myself: is it worth losing my health, sleep and sanity over this problem? Secondly: When they write my obituary, how many lines are they going to give to this part of my life? Am I going to let it define me?

3. Allow yourself time to get those feelings off your chest.

Rant, rave, throw stuff around, cry, do weird ritual dances and recite incantations and curses. Just do in the privacy of your home or somewhere in a forest where no one can see you, and in front of no one else. And, although friends say they want to be there for you, by the time you tell them the same story for the tenth time, they will almost certainly find something better to do.

Better write it all down, to someday make a masterpiece of it, when the distance is there.

4. It’s OK to take a day off, to not be constantly in the driving seat. Postpone without guilt. An hour in bed with a good book can make all the difference. Don’t even bother to review it – so freeing, isn’t it?

5. Yet the longer we wallow in the mud, the harder it becomes to get out of it. As Epictetus said, we can only control our internal mind, not the external world, which we can (at best) only hope to influence. Do you really want to go down in history as the ‘eternal victim’?

6. The key is not to get what we want, but to want what we get…

Yeah, I know, me neither, I don’t have any idea how to go about that. Especially since many of my problems seem to come from far too low expectations of others, and unreasonably high expectations of myself. Besides, what if you get nothing and more nothing and another week of nothing… for months?

Sunrise from the International Space Station, nasa.gov

There we go again, I can feel that Wrath building up again. So perhaps it is best if my advice list ends right here.


Friday Fun: Dark and Cosy Home Libraries

High ceilings, large windows, light and airy rooms with a minimalist feel and minimum fuss and clutter are my favourites… in theory. When it comes to home libraries, however, I have a marked preference for the dark and sombre – much like my reading.

Double height gloom, of course, from clipgoo.com
Grey and aubergine are wonderfully calming, from Home Libraries Design Ideas website.
Ellison Bay Manor home library, from The Daily Mail. Bit empty on the top floor!
Dark blue is wonderfully soothing, from House Beautiful.
Large windows do nothing to lighten this ‘gentlemen’s room’, as it say on the website Next Luxury.
The classic Victorian style never goes out of fashion, from She Knows website.
This Toronto home keeps it interesting with windows of all shapes and sizes, from Pinterest. Plus, a curved staircase never comes amiss.


Open Link Night for dVerse

Can you believe that dVerse has reached its #191 Open Link Night? Please join me there for a celebration of poetry in all its forms, sizes, themes and approaches. I’m attempting a list poem this time.

Shopping List

Bell peppers
Peeled plum tomatoes
A healthy interest in red-blooded stuff
Vampire teeth well-hidden
Till at least the third date
Puff pastry
Because I don’t like flaky
But not too puffed up either
Grated cheese
A winning smile
Ah, always forget the milk
of human kindness…
There’s got to be more than asking:
‘Need help with your packing?’
While looking elsewhere.

One Thousand Ways to Say I Love You

What better way to celebrate a thousand blog posts since February 2012 than by sharing memorable thousands I have seen elsewhere?

  1. 1001 Nights – one of the best collection of stories anywhere – the original page-turner
Illustration from 1001 Nights, from Book Drum

2. A burger with Thousand Island dressing (which I pretended to like in my youth, but time is too short for me to ever befriend mayonnaise).

3. Will I finally read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, about an intergenerational friendship between Afghan women, a book about which I’ve heard many good things? (Why oh why am I so reluctant to read bestsellers though?)

4. Certainly not a bestseller, but this looks very interesting: One Thousand White Women: The Journal of May Dodd by Jim Fergus. It’s based on a true story about pioneer women who, under the auspices of the U.S. government, travel to the western prairies in 1875 to intermarry among the Cheyenne Indians, in an effort to assimilate them.

5. Admire the art project with anthropological flair: One Thousand ShacksTracey Snelling has created a multimedia sculptural installation depicting shantytowns from around the world.

6. 1000 Meere (or 1000 Oceans) – a song by German band Tokio Hotel. They’ve recorded this song in both English and German and I love the difference in voice timbre when singing in the two languages.

7. Anne of the Thousand Days – a film I loved in my childhood about the ill-fated second wife of Henry VIII, with Richard Burton and Genevieve Bujold.

8. New film just out: One Thousand Ropes directed by New Zealand-Samoan film director Tusi Tamasese has been presented at the Berlin Film Festival. This seems to be a film for our times, questioning notions of masculinity and toughness in a traditional society.

9. One for One Thousand literary magazine (1:1000) is open for submissions. They are looking for 1,000-word stories or narrative essays inspired by a photo, and will accept literary, genre, and experimental work, as long as the writing is quality.

10. Above all, a thousand thanks and kisses to all of you who have read, shared, commented, reblogged and simply been there for me over the past five years.

From freepik.com

Finally, because today is International Women’s Day, I just wanted to link up to a few posts from previous years celebrating inspirational role models.

2015 post about personal heroines

2016 post about more heroines

Inspiring women and their one weakness



Seeking Comfort in Crime Fiction (1): Susie Steiner

In times of unrest, I always find comfort in a few well-chosen and lovingly recommended books. I turn to favourite authors and locations like the Quebec of Louise Penny, or I try out something completely new that I’ve seen other authors enthuse about, like Susie Steiner’s Manon Bradshaw series. Of course, poetry is always there to nourish and enlighten me. This is the first of three posts about comfort reading.

Susie Steiner: Missing, Presumed

From the blurb: Over the airwaves come reports of a missing woman – door ajar, keys and phone left behind, a spatter of blood on the kitchen floor. Manon knows the first 72 hours are critical: you find her, or you look for a body. And as soon as she sees a picture of Edith Hind, a Cambridge post-graduate from a well-connected family, she knows this case will be big.

Is Edith alive or dead? Was her ‘complex love life’ at the heart of her disappearance, as a senior officer tells the increasingly hungry press? And when a body is found, is it the end or only the beginning?

When I first read the blurb of this book, I thought: ‘Not for me. Sounds far too similar to far too many recent releases, nothing special to attract me.’ How wrong I was! Luckily, I got intrigued enough by an exchange of tweets between Sarah Perry, Adele Geras and others to give the author a chance – and I am so glad I did.

It breaks all the rules of crime fiction with which agents and publishers hit us around the head. It does not start with a dead body, in the heart of the action. It has multiple viewpoints, not all of which take the story forward, but merely add nuances to it. It focuses on the characters and the private lives of the investigators more than on the plot. The plot ‘twist’ is not that surprising and the villains are not that hateful. And yet, and yet…

It is great fun to read: clever, humorous, sarcastic at times, sharply observant of human nature with all its foibles. It is Jane Austen writing crime thrillers – and not at all of the cosy sort. The main detective, Manon Bradshaw, is immediately relatable – not dysfunctional, not a drunk, not heavily traumatised, but just starting to feel the pangs of middle age and the fear of loneliness. Her dating mishaps are both sad but also hilariously cringe-worthy. And the author pokes fun at the pretentiousness of Cambridge students or London professionals with connections.

It’s an unusual police procedural, because it really takes its time to discuss department funding and interactions between team members, rather than rely on clichéed shortcuts. It felt more like the TV series Happy Valley or Scott and Bailey. Having given up on the book Tennison recently (although I loved Prime Suspect), because it had too many irrelevant details, I really connected with this one instead and stayed up all night to finish it. Not because it was full of ‘unguessable’ twists, but because it was so life-like, caring and well-written. I can’t wait to see what happens next with Manon and Fly and, luckily, I won’t have long to wait. The second book in the series Persons Unknown is due out in May 2017.