And, in the spirit of full disclosure, let me share another poetic experiment with you. This was a poem I wrote as an answer to the question I posed in the previous post: Who lingers when all done is said? Version 1 is my first attempt: wordier, spelling out meaning. Version 2 is trying to take all of the superfluous padding out. Is there enough left there to convey the meaning? I’m not sure. Probably a mix of the two will be my final version.
Version 1
The afterchime
The aftermath
The silence when the noise subsides.
They come to haunt,
Some: happy ghosts,
Some long-faced, gaunt.
They parade, unfold, start pacing.
But some stick fast
Like cobwebs on bushes
After the rain.
Version 2
The afterchime…
They come to haunt,
Some ghosts.
Stick fast
Like cobwebs on the bushes
After the rain.
