If This Be Nostalgia, I Am Guilty

I want to be once more on the land
when April brings a frosty surprise,
where even August can powder with snow.
September smiles indolent and clement, umbrellas are pointless.
Lime trees put on a show as they fall in our hair,
as we hide in their tunnels, as we skip class at school.
I want indigestion with memories both false and true.
I want clothes for all seasons,
and not just babies with fuzz-ripened skin.
Sharp-clawed darkness, the wolves howling from forests
that linger primordial near clean-ploughed fields.
I want you and I to be younger,
not necessarily a happy end.

I am linking this to Open Link Night at the dVerse Poets Pub, where the living is easy, the drinks are plentiful and the poetry is magnificent!

Last Day of Holidays!

SnowCastlesNot that I am ungrateful for the time I get to spend with my children…

But perhaps I simply try to cram too much into the holidays…

Perhaps I overestimate their and my capacity for wonder, social interaction and quality time…

Perhaps I underestimate the amount of time it takes me to write even something as simple as a blog post, a book review or a letter for French administration, let alone a novel. OK, maybe the French letter is marginally more complex than a novel.

Perhaps there are other things weighing my spirit down and it’s really not fair to take it out on them.

Anyway, I’ve tried to pre-empt this by gearing my reading and writing matter this month towards the light, easy and colourful. Among my reads: Cara Black, Sarah Caudwell and Ben Hatch’s hilarious road-trip across France.

AwesomeLegoAnd I try to tell myself that somewhere, somehow, amidst the repeated requests to do homework, to tidy up, to come down for dinner, there might be some golden childhood memories building up…

Two Versions of a Poem

And, in the spirit of full disclosure, let me share another poetic experiment with you.  This was a poem I wrote as an answer to the question I posed in the previous post: Who lingers when all done is said?  Version 1 is my first attempt: wordier, spelling out meaning.  Version 2 is trying to take all of the superfluous padding out.  Is there enough left there to convey the meaning?  I’m not sure.  Probably a mix of the two will be my final version.

Cobwebs on bushes
Photo: Nigel Clifford, Rowl Images.

Version 1

The afterchime

The aftermath

The silence when the noise subsides.

They come to haunt,

Some: happy ghosts,

Some long-faced, gaunt.

They parade, unfold, start pacing.

But some stick fast

Like cobwebs on bushes

After the rain.

Version 2

The afterchime…

They come to haunt,

Some ghosts.

Stick fast

Like cobwebs on the bushes

After the rain.

Midlife, Middling

You showed me how easily

the cheesy wotsits crumbled through your fingers

sticky orange dust filling your hands

my heart pouring its molten mass onto your palms.

 

You hold out your hand

and laugh softly, beckoning, seducing,

wordlessly, I bend to lick off the crumbs,

nibble those long fingers,

caress my liquid heart aquiver in the scoop of your hands.

My tongue feels pure joy

electric flashes.

***

 

And then the morning-starved yell of one fat baby

pierced the thickening dawn

and that was it

dream gone

querulous mouths back demanding

running up and down those stairs

retrieving wellies and jumpers to pull on protesting limbs.

 

Yet that dream glow stayed with me all day

as I gave my serviceable Mum-shoes a miss

and slipped on lethal heels.

That day I felt attractive again.

 

We first kissed under the laden waft of Chernobyl

all that summer we were ablaze

counting the hours since our last kiss

you only knew my body in its sinewy smoothness

not the quaver softness of child-stretched flesh

you only remember hopes and ideals

not the compromises and shortfalls

I like the picture of myself in your mind’s eye

still dewy potential, spirit and energy.

 

But then the pale sceptre arises with rueful smile

admitting, ‘I’m tired now. I’m off to bed.’