Effortlessly limber she entered
His room, his mind, and the rest
She appropriated, triaged, rejected
With cool gherkin competence.
Neglected to fashion belief in his eyes –
Best leave him to wonder and finally mourn.
She entered, effortlessly limber,
And impoverished us all.
Finally I make it in time for Open Link Night over at dVerse Poets Pub – one of the friendliest and most talented community of poets I have seen online. Or in person.
findingtimetowrite 
Marina Sofia – What a powerful way to explore the way a person can capture someone’s soul. I’ve met people like that…
I wish I could say I hadn’t…
wow…excellent close…love that you start and end with her entrance…like the use of gherkin in the middle as well..ha…effective write…
Well, gherkins are as cool as cucumbers, aren’t they?
oh heck…that’s so sad…i’ve met people like her as well…they enter the life of someone like a whirlwind and leave big destruction….ugh
Anyone or anything that we allow to take over so utterly and completely… Thanks for visiting, Claudia, I don’t know how you manage to read everybody’s poetry! And comment.
What a great read Marina –
I love it! Really, really great! I like how you went back to the beginning at the end.
Thank you!
I particularly like the gherkin!
And impoverished them all…..that breaks my heart. Like Claudia, I have known people like this!
Loved this–the lightness of the flow somehow makes the content all the more sad–
She sounds heartless and unmindful of others ~ Good one ~
I really like how you “book-ended” this with the line “effortlessly..” In few words you develop a character.
A small poem packed with a whollop..and that gherkin…! People like that scare the heck out of me…watching them, uncaring, quickly conquering and tossing people away like unwanted toys. Good write!
Do you know, it wasn’t originally about a person at all, more about a feeling… but it’s the readers who decide, right?
apart from a true sense of original brilliance and some memorable lines that make me shiver I am frightened by your words because I fear loss and the loss of such a ‘character’ as I imagine ‘her’ could/would be too much for me to take: honestly, I don’t think I know her but I want to, yet if she were to become ‘absent’. I might die. such a strong set: almost intoxicating. in fact. intoxicating. I must withdraw already and I haven’t even become addicted. Or have I? . . . probably! 🙂
No, no, step away from her NOW!… Thanks for the comment, though, it made me laugh!
Enticing poem… the ending left me wanting more with the use of “us”…
Interesting … there was originally a second stanza about us, but I wasn’t happy with it.
Whoa… she’s a vixen!
How did she exit?
But she never left… his mind.
That gherkin really stands out: cool like a cucumber, but she seems a bit spicy as well. Perhaps too exotic for many of us?
Wow, what a great suggestion – I love that!
Gherkin….. Is that a reference to a pickle in the middle of this devastating seduction? LOL! You know, I was thinking about a pickle right about then too, amazing the coincidence! Fun, fun poem!
Your ending is perfect, Marina.
Pamela
Startling and original stuff Marina – I will be back for more…. With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
“His room, his mind, and the rest” In a tight, spare way this says so much. Also love the last line. Well done!
Perfect ending to a good poem!